Too Much Time
It’s been my second day of MC, yet i feel so helpless and lost. Still confused if i think i have too much time on hand or i can’t decide the 101 things that i wanted to do but didn’t due to time.
Today, i feel like doing something productive. Reading up on investments and market strategies, not before watching 2 hours of chinese drama.
On the other hand, two days of rest made me xtremely recharged. I can almost feel the difference from being a complete slave at work, energy drained till nothing’s left as compared to the state i am in now. This is definitely a sign that work is taking a toll on my over well-being and social life. And amazingly, my chronic neck-ache has also disappeared.
To be honest, work is really very terrible. I wouldn’t hesitate leaving the company after my bond even if it means i’ll leave without a job. I’m also contemplating serving a short notice; not that i have any plans after this job, but any minute with them, is another minute of torment. This may sound like i’m exaggerating, but it isn’t. It’s such a fucked up place to the extent where even if they tried to retain you, you just want out ASAP.
That wraps up my daily rants about work. I should start getting productive for now.
Gym Guilt
I’m extremely upset that i’ve no choice but to cancel my trip to Korea because of my new job.
I don’t know if i’m upset because i’ve lost the $600 bucks deposit (i’m bearing the cost for Mun, otherwise it’ll be totally unfair to him) or not knowing that i can’t get to go to the ski resort and indulge myself in 7 days of korean food.
On a more positive note, at least i haven’t bought my winter wear and i get to encash my remaining leave. But imagine what $600 can do. Surely it cant be earned back, but still….sigh.
And because of that, it totally ruined my mood for gym. I was waiting for bus 197. This whole trip issue kept running through my mind. I told myself if bus 9 comes first, then i’ll head home. True enough, i was on my way home at 7pm.
My day was partially ruined because the woman at the dress shop in Chinatown told me that my dress for alteration was already collected by someone. I was furious and demanded a refund, or at least a decent explanation. And she kept doubting me about getting someone to collect on my behalf. My dad went yesterday, and she said she thought she saw someone like my dad before. (FYI, my dad happens to have a very common face). And why in the world would i get someone to collect again if it had already been collected? Totally stupid. Alas, they found the dress without the carbon copy receipt attached to it. They redeemed themselves by sending the dress to my workplace. I was hoping they could waive off my tailoring charges. Bah.
And i digressed.
I didn’t go gym, instead i had Turkish food with my dad. It’s kinda like stuffed chicken roll with salad and stuff. Pretty awesome, definitely comforting. The last thing i would want to comfort myself is by going to some stuffy coffee shop with poor ventilation and have a plate of chap cai peng in front of me. That is ultra sad.
Also, i bought a Pilates VCD from this dodgy DVD rental shop near my place for $5. I bought Pilates because i don’t recall seeing any of such classes at my gym and partly to assuage my guilt for missing gym since last week. I shall give gym a miss tmr (again), and hopefully i may find the VCD to be of great satisfaction and efficacy coupled with my ‘pseudo-strict’ dinner diet plan, ie: no carbs after 7pm.
comfort food for the soul
There is nothing more comforting than a packet of plain Meiji crackers along with a cup of hot milo when you realised your blood glucose level is plunging faster than the speed of light at this stupid ungodly hour.
It is the perfect combination of semi-sweet and salty. Note that i do not add anything else to my milo, other than hot water. This also reminds me when my mom used to tell me that was one of their staples. They didn’t have Oreos nor Pepperidge Farm cookies. The Meiji crackers were in placed of Marie Biscuits.
This combi was also known as the “food sick people used to eat”. It probably was comfort food for my mom as well. She would dip the biscuits into her milo like how we dunk our oreos into milk. With that, she was just as happy.
Then it dawned on me how affluent the world is becoming; or rather most parts of the world. And then the income gap between the poor and the affluent gets staggeringly wider. Wonder how the world will evolve next time.
I also found out from a colleague of mine that he’s got a client who has set aside at least 1 mil to his kids for education. Can you imagine how lucky his kids are? They don’t need a part time job nor an education loan. His rationale behind this would be, he would save for them till they’ve found a job (presumably 2-3 years after they’ve graduated), and from then on, they are on their own. The rest of their money will be used to build their retirement nest.
I hope his kids do not take things for granted that the road ahead of them will be well-paved till they’ve stepped into the workforce. You know the usual chinese saying: 衣来伸手,饭来张口。
On hindsight, if only my parents were like the client, (obviously not about the 1 million savings part), who saved enough for me till i’ve grown into a full fledged working adult, i would call myself the luckiest kid on earth.Who likes being burdened with exorbitant study loan payments (mind you, it’s only local uni we’re talking about) or even insurance premiums payable for life? And if i may recall, the maturity proceeds from my education endowment bought by my parents actually went to the hands of the Asian Financial Crisis.
Then again,putting things into perspective, i could actually have been the slightly luckier few. i never had to live day to day with pittance from part time work during my college days. Or slogged just to make ends meet to pay off misc stuff like textbooks and transport in university.
I need to learn how to count my blessings.
Nonetheless, the client’s plan is a really awesome one which i would consider doing the same for my own kids in future. Whether or not i marry a rich dude.
I think the lack of visuals makes my blog a really boring one. Maybe i should post a couple of them if my life decides to get more interesting
p.s: i can’t find my coaster to place my hot milo, and that is annoying me so much.
bittersweet
I am on the verge of contributing to the unemployment rate in Singapore. At the same time, i am also very close to smelling emancipation.
I can’t wait to bum around for a month or two, not having anything on my mind except to clear my room, read and read and most importantly get back in shape. It’ll be good if i could get a tan as well!
I’m ashamed of saying this, but i am really looking forward to being unemployed for a while.
Too bad for the suckers who can’t find a job till now. If you are a fresh grad with no experience, damn it, just grab any job.
I don’t believe if someone tells me they can’t find a job to save their life. There are tonnes of jobs out there in the market, its a matter of whether you want to do it or not. Beggars can’t be choosers. No?
Anyway, on a much brighter note, i could see that more companies are hiring as the market is not as bleak as the past. Isn’t that good news for one and all?
Why the hell am i ranting everyday about the same old pressing issue?
decisions, decisions
I’ve always wondered how people arrive at a decision, or even coping with a wrong decision.
Is it better to make a decision on impulse, then handle the aftermath in the most rational way? Or is it better to wreck your brains out, coming to a rational decision in hope that the decision made is the best one.
How to people make decisions in life when faced with cross roads?
Sometimes i find that i always like seeking answers to things which don’t particular have a definite answers. My boss told me, instead of trying to find answers, i should learn how to cope with circumstances and try to practise some form of lateral thinking ie: a shift in mindset.
I think he’s made a very good point. I could see how my boss and i are pretty similar in some ways being typical Arians, (we happen to share the same birthday)yet we have very different mindsets. I feel there’s so much i could learn from him sometimes. He’s pretty good at making me look at things in an entirely different perspective at times. Yes, he jolly well was a darn good sales man, but it’s probably him going through the school of hard knocks that he learnt things the hard way. Which, i think is one of the best gifts bestowed upon him as my superior. He understands things from ground level because once a upon a time, he was where i am.
Today, we had a talk about success. Contrary to how many people measure success by your corporate rank, the type of car you drive or the number of digits in your account balance, he told me the level of happiness is a good gauge of success to him at least. Of course he’s not trying to sound all mother theresa and stuff, something he told me hit a raw nerve. He’s in his late 30s, yet he doesn’t have any intentions to climb up higher on the corporate ladder. And that he’ll be happy if everything remains status quo from now till he’s retired. That is kinda weird if you ask me. I thought everybody wants to emerge winner in the game of ‘snake and corporate laddder’?
The point i’m trying to make here is that, if i were to continue staying in my comfort zone, and not climb up the ladder, would that make me less ambitious but at the same time much happier than most people out there? Or, would i be doing myself injustice by seeking intangible success like happiness when i’m only a quarter of a century old? Hell, i’ve got at least 50 more years to live!
When people always say live life to the fullest, what exactly do they mean? Shit! I’m finding answers to all these stupid questions again. Someone stop me please!
p/s: Am i a blog idiot or is wordpress getting too sophisticated for me?
the pen is not always mightier than the sword
Contrary to the old saying that knowledge is power; i beg to differ in my field of work. No one gives two shit about your IQ, wit nor even general knowledge. The sad truth to be known is that only the numbers carry weight. Even the biggest airhead could excel so long as he’s a smooth talker towards clients; That would include but not limited to
a) being friendly to them but behind their back you curse at them for being a nuisance
b) acting friendly towards them even though they’re annoying just so you can close the deal with them
c) praising them way up to the sky, so they feel good and will decide to seal the deal
Why yes, the customer is always in the right. NOT!
Initially, all that at the infancy of my career made me barf. I felt possessed with all the acts. After years of “oh my! it’s so good to see you!”, i’m feeling nothing more than indifferent. Part of me is numb to all the superficiality, but my sane and conscious part of me tells me i have to go on doing this to survive.
However, on the flip side, i’m genuinely nice to clients who are nice to me. Doesn’t it always take two to tango?
Without the sword (okay, and maybe some kinda drive for money/perseverance), i am only close to being a zero fighter. Which pretty much spells out why i’ve stagnated in my career progression.
I have only myself to blame.
On a much happier note, i’m looking forward to dinner tomorrow 😀
Exponential Decay
Le Sigh.
This has got to be the suckiest day of the week.
1. The humidity is getting on my nerves
2. WordPress for some strange reason didn’t ‘Autosave’ my post before i got disconnected and hit the “Publish” button
3. Work is a bitch
4. Work is a bitch
5. Work is a bitch
6. WordPress is a fat bitch (minus 200 brownie points)
And i shall attempt to recall what i’ve blogged earlier. It probably won’t be as good as the original post. 😦 pity.
Like a radioactive atom, I feel like my life is decaying at an exponential rate.
Formula to note: t1/2 = 30 days
It saddens me to know that I don’t know what i want after so long, despite being a very pragmatic person. Weighing rationals may not necessary always be the best way out. I was told that i lack focus. I need time to give my career some serious thoughts. And time, is unfortunately what i’m lacking.
I hate how i’ve lost control over my life and emotion to work.Even throughout my formative years as an adolescent, everything was in some kinda manageable control. I never had to grapple for control with anything nor anyone. Wonder if this is a sign of a quarter life crisis.
I hate how i’m deprived of a social life or even losing out on ‘me-time’ because of work. My pay cheque doesn’t commensurate with the amount of time spent at work. And even a fat pay cheque can’t make up for all the time i could have spent hanging out till late with friends on a Friday night, without being a wet blanket only because i have work the follow day. Yes, it’s true. Money can’t buy anything, especially time.
While Saturday brunches or sleep-ins may seem like a typical routine for most people. That to me, is a fucking luxury. I count my blessings by the number of hours i get to sleep in, which isn’t alot if you ask me.
Don’t get me started on being at work on Sundays. If ever i have my own company, i’ll be as humane as i can. Nobody wants to be a stupid wage slave.
Why do i sound like a slave to my job? Oh yes, forgot it had control over me as of now.
Right now, all i wish to do is escape, or find greener pastures.
I don’t want to be slogging or experiencing any forms of emotional trauma in return for a fat pay. Because, like Warren Buffett, he believes in making his money work for him. Muahaha. Who am i kidding?
Honestly, i want out. ASAP.
Disclaimer: My definition of “fat pay” hasn’t even reached 5 digit. Oh fml (fuckmylife)
Bored-Stiff-Neck
Wonder what it’ll take to make my life more interesting. It’s funny how i’m perpetually complaining that i’m bored out of my wits, i have nothing better to do but blog and whine on a Friday night.
Such an exciting life I’ve got.
Nonetheless, I’ll be going for a short getaway tomorrow, proudly sponsored by my employer; if that’s of any consolation to me. (not!)
I’ve got the world’s most chronic neck pain ever. It was intolerable till i had to pass on gym only because i felt giddy.
p.s: i’m starting to adore wordpress.
20-something 